What the heck are “drippy eyes?” Well, mine recently!
I am not certain that anyone has even missed me, but, I have been away for a while.
The intent of my writing has always been to uplift and encourage – NEVER to hurt or inflict pain on anyone, ever, ever – EVER! I am afraid that I violated that pretty heartily a few months ago. It was a private correspondence, so no one else would really have been aware of it.
The thing is, I was, and am still, vividly aware of it. I put — in writing — very hurtful words to someone that should have been the last person in the world that they should have been said. The thing about the written word, like the spoken word, it can’t be taken back; but even more, the written work haunts you in a different way. You envision it being read over and over (and over), thereby inflicting pain over and over (and over.) It has a life of it’s own.
The, “I’m sorrys.” have been said; and forgiveness granted.; even with a, “If I had to hear it, I’m glad it came from you.” That does not change the actual fact that it was done.
It has affected me in a very vivid way. Every time I sit down to write something cheery and positive, I see those hateful words in my mind. I have shed so many tears and my eyes have definitely been “drippy!” As far as my writing goes, I am sure and truly blocked. I feel like I do not have the right to write cheery and positive words. This is my first attempt to get past that. I miss writing. I miss my few regular readers!
Know that I am working on it. I hope to be back soon!
“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” ~~ Colossians 4:6