We had snow this morning, big, fat, juicy flakes that dropped and clung to every surface, piling up, settling as mounds of fluffy white. As I gaze out the window upon a winter wonderland, I inhale the beauty – because the rain is on the way, and the unsullied covering blanketing all imperfections will soon be gone. As young girls, many of us (especially of a certain age) dreamed of putting on that beautiful, white, flowing gown, and twirling and swirling around in a glittering, snow-covered fairy tale forest, shimmering with sparkling, crystals of pixie dust reflections dancing off of ice-laden branches. As whimsical as the vision is, it is also a vision that melts away much too quickly as the innocence of childhood fades away. I was reminded of this vision last night, as I attended the December wedding of a very special young lady and young man. The backdrop of their vows was a fairy tale forest, and it was shimmering with sparkling crystals of pixie dust reflections! The bride was a beautiful, winter princess and the groom, every bit the handsome prince.
As I reflect on the beauty of last evening and the special quality that surrounded it, I couldn’t help but wonder (just a little bit) where my glittering, snow-covered fairy tale forest went. Where did that sparkly light that comes with childhood go? We, as women, have a tendency to lose some of our childhood self as we grow out of that effervescent phase where we are surrounded by a cloud of certainty that we are something special. We begin to allow the world to dictate the self that we see. The innocent confidence to stride into unknown adventures is replaced by a hesitancy to plant our foot down and take a step toward the unseen. We become more afraid of the shadows as an adult than we ever were of the dark as a child.
It is a “given” that we have to grow up and live in the real world; but why do most of us also lose that child-like quality, that light from within, that keeps us centered in a place that most people cannot comprehend after the age of ten? We grow into the positive aspects of adulthood, like striking out on our own, creating a life, making our own decisions and accepting responsibility for them (well…most people); but why must we lose the positive aspects of our sincere childhood in exchange? Why must we lose that feeling of knowing who we are, knowing who our people are, having the ability to love and be loved unconditionally? Maybe it comes down to “unconditionality.” (No, spell check did not miss it, I have created another word for myself. It is my blog-world after all. Here is the definition: “unconditionality – being suspended somewhere between the comprehension of conditional and unconditional love.”)
So what happens to that unconditional love between the time we are born and adulthood? God is the source and the greatest form of unconditional love. (1 John 4:8) We come from God. He created us within our mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13) If He created us, that means we had contact with Him. Maybe that is why we are able to fully accept love and fully give love in return as a child. The older we get, the further we get from that pure Light, our God-given light begins to diminish. Ahhh…. but not completely for everyone. There are some that can maintain that light, that essence of trust, untainted by worldly dependence. How can this happen for some? The “some” are the ones that have maintained connection with the Light, thereby they have been able to preserve qualities of the Light.
When you think about it, none of us have to completely lose our light within. I believe that we can all immerse ourselves back into the Light, back into the Source that brings us out of that state of unconditionality. Of course, we can not rid ourselves of the roads we have traveled, the experiences we have had, the mistakes we have made; but with a clearer vision, with the confidence that we have unlimited potential, and that amazing Light guiding us out of the shadows, we can find our glittering, snow-covered fairy tale forests again!
We do not have to lose our light within. The truth is that the Light never goes away. It is the biggest constant in the universe. The problem, when we feel like it is fading, is actually that we have turned away from the Light. As we grow into adulthood and allow ourselves to become more accustomed to this alien world, we allow our spiritual eyes to become so sensitive to His Light, some to the point of spiritual blindness, that we have turned away. We stumble along in the shadows and sometimes in the dark. Even with this, the answer is simple really, turn back to the Light, the Light of Jesus. Knowing Him truly is one of the most simple things in the whole universe. Turn toward Him. Acknowledge Him. Admit your sin. Accept His outstretched hand of forgiveness. Follow Him, basking in the Light each and every day.
The couple that stood before us in that glittery wonderland last night were surrounded by the glow of His Light. Thank you Chad and Emily for one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. I even feel a little closer to my fairy tale forest today! Congratulations and God’s blessings as you begin to write the next chapter of your love story… and many, many more!
“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” ~~ John 8:12
“And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.” ~~ Isaiah 42:16